You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
