doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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