Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
