I just made out with a guy for $7.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
