Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
