why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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