how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
