Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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