You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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