we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
