New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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