This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
