I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry about my life...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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