she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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