so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
