Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
