whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
