were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
