As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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