And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
