i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
