I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
even my farts smell like vagina
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
