Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
