Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
