so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
