Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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