She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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