i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
