I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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