it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
