some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
