I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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