What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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