ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
