better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
