I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
