remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
