It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
