Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
