i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
and you fell through a lawn chair
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
