Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
