About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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