I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
