He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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