We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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