She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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