i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
