so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
