marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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