i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
